Thursday, November 19, 2009

Once bitten, twice shy...

Oh my. I just can’t hold it in any longer….I just have to rant, vent or whatever you call it. I am a bit perplexed, I guess you could say. I’m just having a hard time with this latest movie and book craze that is ‘biting’ women of all ages. Not just teenage girls but married women. Yes, I am fully aware that there are two camps of people out there. Those that have read 'the books' and LOVE it and others who have not read the book or seen the movie, nor do they plan to do so. Do not misunderstand---my point of writing has nothing to do with vampires nor whether I think Christians should read these books or not. (The “should Christians read that” debate could take place around most fictional books.) My main perplexity and issue is not the book itself or even the movie. .

The problem I am having and the point of my writing is the blatant double standard. Seriously, I think this might be one of the biggest double standards that I can recall. I want to be real for a second. Let’s face it ladies….if our men (husbands, boyfriends) were sitting around reading books and talking about how ‘goo goo gaa gaa’ they are for some under age girl, then they were counting down the days until “she” appeared in the best movie ever and they even pre-bought tickets to see “her”--- we would be livid! We would be trash talking our men like there is no tomorrow. We’d have our panties in a MAJOR wad. For the other part of the double standard: What if you were the mother of a 17 year old boy and you had an adult woman “swooning” after him, wanting his face on a t-shirt, even throwing their panties at him. I think you’d be ready to label them as far worse than cougars. Imagaine this: if it were an adult man after our under age daughter—we’d label them as a pervert or worse. And last but not least for the examples: How about if our husbands wore a T-shirt that said, "Forbidden Fruit Tastes Best"? Why do these scenarios seem acceptable? Since this is all under the guise of fiction, it seems that we somehow think it is all okay? Why is it OKAY for us to behave this way as women yet demand the complete opposite from our men? That is what stumps me.

Maybe I am getting old. Maybe I am too traditional or conservative. Yet---maybe I know the slippery slope that the enemy wants to get us on so he can devour us. He wants our family. He wants our marriages. He is coy and sly. Lest you think I am on my high horse, I realize that no one is exempt from falling into temptation. Not even myself. My marriage is not exempt from attack. We must ALL walk circumspectly at all times to protect our marriages and our families. Someone recently told me they thought I should watch the movie or read the book series because they were sure I would love it! They could be correct. I might “love” it. I could escape reality for a few hours and enjoy the romance--ya know--the living vicariously through fiction. The problem is that I do not need anything else set before my eyes to tempt me. Do we not have enough trying to pull women away from their husbands and families?

I have many precious friends and family that love this book/movie. I am not judging anyone of you who read the book or watch the movies. You see, I am burdened for families. Christian marriages are under attack. We are bombarded with stress and temptations. Why do we need to fill our heads and hearts with fantasy that will leave us empty if our own relationship doesn't deliver what we fantasize that it should be? We open the door for the possibility of being left unsatisfied with what we have and longing for more. Day after day, Jim and I hear heartbreaking stories of married people having affairs (emotional and physical) and men being addicted to fantasy on the computer. Recently we have been reminded time and time again of the 'slow fade' that can innocently occur. Reminded by those who have let their guard down and found themselves in a situation with people of the opposite sex, situations that seemed innocent at the time—yet they will forever regret.

Does watching a movie or reading a book automatically mean we will slip down the slippery slope? Of course not. I do believe that sometimes we need to make choices for the overall benefit of our marriage and for our family regardless of what everyone else is doing, watching or reading. (If you are a mother, I truly believe we need to stop and remember that our children are watching us, listening to us and learning from our actions as well.)

So there you have it. As for me, now you know why I am opting out of this series. I personally need to be more careful about what I set before my eyes and fill my heart with. The last thing I need is more to try to get me to fall. Instead, I’ll run. I’ll flee from this one.


Anonymous said...


Holly said...

I'm runnng right alongside you, Becky! I agree completely :)


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